Meritorious Millennials and Their Quest for Happiness
By Faiza Khan
Newport Beach, CA
I ran into a former colleague at a crowded local organic café who at 32 years of age proudly calls herself a “millennial.” This rather mundane encounter would not have inspired me to write this article had it not replicated a scene from a Netflix Original Series.
She was in athletic gear her hair tightly pulled back with into a messy bun. It looked like she was coming back from hitting the gym. I probably would not have gone into such lengths to observe her but as I was standing right behind her in the somber order line-up, I had front row access to whatever was going on ahead of me. I heard a complicated, super healthy food order that was not on the menu with buzz words grilled salmon, extra kale, sweet potatoes, quinoa, and a green juice when she turned around and looked at me straight in the eye exclaiming, “OMG...Faiza…it has been so long!”
In all honesty it took me a good 40 seconds to realize who she was and another 20 to recall her name. Basic math will tell you I stared at her for approximately about a minute with a confused look on my face. Then, as abruptly as she startled me without any further conversation, she walked away to find herself a place to sit. All this while she was looking at her phone with wireless AirPods jammed in both her ears. After I had ordered my very regular “on the menu- without substitutions” order I walked over to her and apologized that it took me a minute to recognize her in her gym outfit. I subtly hinted that there had absolutely been no contact between us for over a year. Although we were connected on various forms of social media, there had been no direct communication of any kind between us. I am sure she heard all of this, but it seemed almost as a payback she looked at me blankly with a stoic expression of, “Are you talking to me?”
I addressed her by her name this time and reminded her of our awkward food order lineup run-in five minutes ago. She responded with, “Oh yah, I thought you did not remember me so there was no point in saying anything further.” By that time, I was back to my quintessential self. I smiled and explained I was in my zone, so it took me a moment to recollect my thoughts but did not mean any disrespect. While profusely apologizing, I did explain to her that she had completely vanished from my radar and there was no connection at all and suddenly she wanted to be my best friend in the café lineup. Her noncommittal response to that was, “Us millennials-we are like that!” Intrigued, as we both belong to the same South-Asian ethno-cultural group, I asked her what exactly did she mean by that. She delved into a long self-reflection of what millennials are and what they do that sets them apart from the others. According to her, Millennials are bad at keeping in touch. They don’t really respond to texts or DMs unless they are interested in having a conversation or meeting up with that person, and they will for sure not view or like a social media story/post if they don’t want to socialize with any person or group. I said then why keep people like that on their social media or their numbers in the phone contacts. “Oh, they are not our enemies or anything. We just don’t have time for those people right now, but if/when time and place permits, we can reach out if we want to hang with them.” Well that’s very convenient, I said. Only contact people if you need something sort of a relationship. “Yes sure, whatever you think. We never get any merit for doing anything right anyway,” was the response.
The millennial expectation for all relationships is that the other person should be the one keeping in touch, the one to make plans which may or may not be accepted depending on the millennial’s mood, time, expense, or the level of priority. This rather lack luster behavior reflects in their everyday routines. I did ask her what goals did she have in her “meritorious millennial mind” for the future. Her eyes lit up, “All I want is to be happy?” Exactly what would that happiness look like for her I wondered. She said out loud as if reading my mind, “Yeah about that…I have had no idea, but I do know that I want to be happy,” she quipped.
My quest was to find out what exactly does this elite status of being a millennial merit. Millennials (born between the years of 1981-1996) are the next generation demographic cohort after Generation X or Gen X. Gen X (birth years 1965- 1980) is hailed to be the entrepreneurial generation where Gen Xers amassed wealth and education.
A 2015 study reports Gen Xers "dominate the playing field" with respect to founding startups in the United States and Canada, with Gen Xers launching the majority (55%) of all new businesses in 2015. In comparison to Gen Xers, research shows millennials are broke, burdened with student loans, majority of them are still living at home, cannot hold onto meaningful relationships, and usually tend to hide behind their phone screens to avoid in person conversations. But why is it like that exactly?
Most millennials if born in the 80s are in their early to late thirties currently, yet still claim their lives are tough and hard? Why do they feel they are not “happy?” I was unable to find any real answers to these questions from the millennials I spoke to. It could be perhaps because they really did not have the answer to finding their “happy.” Or maybe there was the much needed growing up to do. Attempting to be different from their Gen X parents they lost sight of what they required to be meritorious like their successful predecessors.
Throwing around the word “Millennial” may sound very hipster at a social event or speak easy, but does not bode well with a potential employer or on a job application. Meritocracy is not a mysteriously exclusive country club, but then neither is millennialism.
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