Losing a Friend during the Coronavirus Pandemic
By C. Naseer Ahmad
Washington, DC
“Yaaran naal baharaan, yaraan baaj Muhamad Bakhsha kis kari?” said the Sufi Poet Mian Muhammad Bakhsh. This could be translated as “with friends it is spring time; without friends what is life?”
It is tragic that during the spring of 2020, Naim Khan, a friend to so many, a husband, a father of four children, a brother and a beloved community member died on April 13, 2020 in Staten Island. Naim left behind a lot of memories and love during his 67 years of life. He died in Staten Island University Hospital, Ocean Breeze, of complications due to Coronavirus (COVID-19.)
Naim’s untimely death added to the number of victims of the deadly Coronavirus but his life was not just a statistic. His loss was felt among many, far and wide. Ms Pamela Silvestri published a moving story “A beloved deli owner and grocer, Naim Khan, lost to coronavirus ‘loved New York’“ for Staten Island Live, a New York website. Ms Silvestri’s story about Naim gives meaning to what the poet Khalil Jibran said a long time ago: “And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
Naim came to be known as the beloved owner of two “5-Eleven Deli’s in the Port Richmond neighborhood of New York. I met Naim in 1968 during our first year in Forman Christian College Lahore, Pakistan. We became friends almost instantly because we had common family friends and traditions.
Naim’s father late Sheikh Rehmatullah was a very successful businessman in Karachi, who became a pillar of the community. His father’s reputation was one of the reasons I became friends with him almost instantly. During our college years, I also came to know his brother Dr Nasim Rehmatullah, who was then studying medicine. Friendship with both brothers has lasted a lifetime.
Naim contacted me as soon as he came to the US around 1973. I remember driving to see him at Davidson College, North Carolina and staying at his rented mobile home apartment. During ensuing summers, he would visit me in Washington and stay with me for long periods.
Due to his easy going personality, my friends at the George Washington University and elsewhere became his friends too. A few years later, when my cousin Nasir Ahmad moved from my house in Fairfax, Virginia to New York City, I introduced him to Naim. They became friends and the friendship developed into a business partnership and lasted until Naim’s death in April 2020. Naim’s son kept Nasir updated about this father’s status during hospitalization.
Remembering his brother, Dr Nasim, who is a highly respected surgeon in Conneaut, Ohio wrote to me saying: “Naim was blessed with a very friendly personality. He was mild and humble. There was no pomp or show. He cared for people and would go out of his way to help irrespective of race, creed or religion during his life here; he guided many friends, family, and strangers to get back on their feet by providing shelter, food, jobs, and money. He was everybody’s go-to person. He was not a lawyer but was very familiar with the intricacies of immigration and helped many by guiding them and filling out their forms.”
“He always wanted to come here. He loved New York. He loved the city life,” said Omer – in the Staten Island Live story by Ms Silversti, one of Naim’s two sons and four children.
“My dad left an impression on every single person he had met. He was kind, generous, loving and selfless -- gave everyone the shirt off his back and provided people with opportunities no matter who they are and where they have come from,” said his daughter, Zahra to the Staten Island Live reporter.
Ms Silvestri’s notes are worth quoting verbatim as they describe a true human being lost to this disease. “Naim lived in Port Richmond with the family down the block from the delis. His children said residents in the community knew him well and would ring the bell at home when they needed something. Zahra said that he would hear requests, then call ahead to one of the delis to be sure groceries were handed over to whomever was asking.”
Zahra said the family continues to receive calls from patrons expressing condolences. Each shared stories of Naim’s generosity and thoughtfulness, acts of kindness of which the family was not aware.
Zahra said, “He has guided many friends, family and strangers to get back on their feet by providing shelter, food, jobs and money. He was everybody’s go-to with anything -- he always had a solution and loved helping literally everyone. Days prior to his death a worker texted us stating my dad had said to him ‘we are family now, we take care of each other.’"
She added, “As the owner of 5-Eleven he made many connections and touched many lives, a true pillar of the community. He was everyone’s favorite and will truly be missed.”
Naim had a Muslim burial on April 20 in Forest Green Cemetery, Morganville, NJ. Mourners rode in a drive-by funeral as only a handful of family were allowed by the graveside.
When writing about a lost friend, it is important to remember a quote from Hubert Humphrey: "The greatest gift of life is friendship and I have received it."
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