The offending sock hole - Credit Eddie Mulholland
The Hole in King Charles’s Sock Makes Me Proud to Be British
By Judith Woods
A world-weary European once told me that the continent’s geopolitical troubles boiled down to the fact that France just wanted to be respected and Germany just wanted to be loved. And that was never going to happen.
As for Britain? We just wanted to be understood. But other nations don’t get us; not when it comes to Brexit or driving on the left or proper sinks with two taps.
Recent days however have thrown up a few fabulous insights into our character without recourse to Chinese spy balloons.
They are all, of course, related to royalty; how better to define modern Britain than a slavish admiration for an ancient and deeply flawed institution that has no place in a 21st-century democracy, but cannot be expunged from our collective psyche?
First up, that hole in King Charles’s sock . When he popped off his shoes, as is customary, at a mosque in London’s Brick Lane, the cameras immediately focused on the very visible shortcomings of the royal hosiery.
Cue gasps of astonishment from effetely stylish Johnny Foreigners everywhere in their Himalayan cashmere Brescianis and pure silk knee-high Falkes.
So, did we feel hot waves of shame? No, we did not, we felt uniquely British!
Like his mother before him, who kept the breakfast cereal in unglamorous utilitarian Tupperware, our monarch was instilled with make-do-and-mend frugality from the earliest age. And that’s why, despite the prohibitive cost of Duchy Originals, we consider him to be one of us.
Our first thought wasn’t “How’s that for humiliation on the world stage?” It was “Ooh, those need mending” and “I expect some crusty retainer is already hunting down the beechwood darning mushroom right this minute”.
Minding the pennies so we can spend the pounds on pomp and circumstance and crowns, chocca with looted gemstones. That’s true patriotism.
Next we have our future Queen hauling tires on a harness – to show she could. Ha! Take that, Ursula von der Leyen!
The Princess of Wales got stuck in by replicating the strength-training exercises Chandi did in preparation for her epic journey - Credit POOL
The Princess of Wales was on a school visit in Derby with polar explorer Captain Preet Chandi, who broke a world record last month when she undertook the furthest unsupported solo polar expedition in history.
So, needless to say, have-a-go Kate, a 41-year-old mother-of-three, got stuck in by replicating the strength-training exercises Chandi did in preparation for her epic journey. When in the East Midlands and all that.
Weirdly performative? Only if you’re a closet republican; have you seen Queen Letizia of Spain’s upper arms?
I can feel another It’s a Royal Knockout in the ether, Edward. Makes us proud to be uniquely British.
And finally to Harry and Meghan. Everyone is swithering over whether they should, would or could attend the Coronation in May, given the bad (blue) blood still splattered on the Pugin wallpaper after publication of Harry’s incendiary autobiography Spare .
Observers (see Johnny F above), reared on tales of the French Revolution and the demise of the Romanovs have concluded there’s no way back for the couple.
Wrong. Here in the United Kingdom, we know how to settle a score. And here’s how. They can come - but they will be treated like Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie. How’s that for putting the pair in their place?
Those unfamiliar with Debrett’s tables of precedence won’t grasp the enormity of this. A senior royal being treated like a less senior royal? Mind-blowing in these sceptred isles.
Of course, the rest of Europe doesn’t understand. Why would they? They’re not from Britain. They don’t come over all jubilant at the mention of an official Coronation trifle. And that’s what makes us feel so uniquely British. - Telegraph
