Page 20 - Pakistan Link - July 2, 2021

P20 – PAKISTAN LINK – JULY 2, 2021 COMMENTARY
n By Samana Siddiqui 11 Ways to Build Modesty derstanding of what works and what
Chicago, IL doesn’t.

Verily, there is a (special) mo- in Young Muslims 10. Find Halal, same gender
rality of every religion. And fun
“the (special) morality of Islam A lot of the drama of the teen
is modesty.” years happens because young people
- Prophet Muhammad, peace become more self-absorbed and self-
and blessings be upon him, Ibn Ma- conscious. A pimple you can hardly
jah see is the source of embarrassment
Being shy or bashful, modest in and angst; a look the “wrong way”
dress, speech, and behavior is con- can mean a feeling of exclusion from
sidered something archaic, even pre- a clique of friends; a regular “hello”
historic today. Yet, this is a key virtue from someone of the opposite sex
of Islam. It’s what distinguishes a means more than just “hi”. Help your
person of faith and God-conscious- young Muslim find Halal outlets to
ness. keep busy - with the same gender.
But it is particularly hard to be That cuts down half the drama.
modest for young Muslims. Youth While sports can be a good
culture, especially in the last 60 option, Girl/Boy Scouts, and com-
years, has become marked by imma- munity service (outside of what’s
turity, along with licentiousness and required for school) are also produc-
sexual expression that laughs in the tive ways to spend time and develop
face of modesty. It is a whole package skills. As well, if you’re blessed to
that glorifies dress showing off the be in a Muslim community where
body (especially for girls and young youth can be part of their Masjid or
women), speech and songs marked Islamic center’s board or other gov-
by sexual innuendo and commen- erning bodies, then make sure to get
tary, as well as approval of all kinds your young Muslim involved.
of sexual acts outside of marriage,
not just sexual intercourse itself. 11. Make Dua
Whether it’s pop songs dripping “Tie your camel, then put your
with sexual lingo, or teen-oriented at pornography online, or talking to or posting things that neither He nor tive person, whether in real life or trust in Allah”, the Prophet told a
sitcoms dropping sexual references, a woman or girl with disrespect. The our parents would approve of. Also online? Prophet Muhammad, peace Bedouin man who was about to leave
the acceptance for immodesty is a standards of modesty are a require- important to emphasize in this short and blessings be upon him, was our his only source of transportation to
cultural trend parents of all back- ment for both sexes in Islam, and we reminder you give your kids is that best role model, and his example is roam free. It’s the same with parent-
grounds in the US and abroad have must set higher expectations of our starting from the time a boy or girl the one we as Muslims must all as- ing and any other endeavor. We can
expressed alarm about. sons, as we do of our daughters, to hits puberty, actions count for the pire to. Asking this question reminds and must take the steps necessary
speak, dress, and behave modestly. Akhira and they are accountable for of that and quickly puts us back on to accomplish our goals, but ulti-
1. Start with yourself – the them. So while parents may be un- the modesty track. mately, Allah is the One Who knows
parent 3. Monitor media consump- aware of any misdeeds, Allah knows and sees all things, and He makes
It’s been said over and over tion all of them. While He is the most 7. Have “the talk” – Islamically all things possible. After we’ve done
again, and it will always need to be Television, YouTube videos, Forgiving and Merciful, He also While many parents dread hav- at least some of the above, let’s turn
said – a parent is a child’s first role Facebook, etc. are all accessible ways holds us accountable. ing “the talk” about sex, it’s even more to Allah. Ya Allah, make all of us,
model. So if we, as parents, enjoy to harness great information – and necessary today than ever. Kids are men and women, young and old, the
watching television shows that show disgraceful stuff too. Monitoring A lot of the drama learning earlier about sexual issues modest Muslims You want us to be.
“mild” nudity or bikini-clad men and media consumption is absolutely of the teen years through exposure to the internet and https://www.soundvision.com/
women, sexual situations (not neces- necessary, no matter how busy, tired, more graphic content on television. article/11-ways-to-build-modes-
sarily pornography), and comment or digitally illiterate we think we are happens because But couched in this discussion about ty-in-young-muslims?eType=Em
on how attractive certain celebrities, as parents. A pornography habit can the proverbial birds and the bees, ailBlastContent&eId=5169d1f8-
relatives or friends are “hot”, “cute”, be nipped in the bud if caught ear- young people become parents need to also discuss Islamic 3094-4df9-b41a-c2835b319e8b
or attractive, then it will be diffi- ly enough by a parent aware of the more self-absorbed requirements of modesty. These in-
cult to convey the importance of a danger, for example. You can stop clude:
Muslim being modest. We need to an embarrassing photo from being and self-conscious. A • Lowering the gaze (Qur’an MODERNA FROM P18
sit down today and do an honest as- uploaded by simply being aware of pimple you can hardly 24:30 and 31) and the Pacific,” said UN Under-Sec-
sessment of our behavior. If we catch what your child is doing online. The • Proper dress, what is ac- retary-General and Escap Executive
ourselves falling into these or other standard digital tips are all useful see is the source of ceptable and what is not Secretary, Armida Salsiah Alisjahbana,
examples of immodest behavior, we and easy to implement for any par- embarrassment and • Flirtatious conversations at the launch event of the report. “The
should seek Allah’s forgiveness and ent. in person or via texting/Facebook recent surge in Covid-19 in our region
resolve to try harder to commit to As for television, sitting with angst; a look the “wrong • How to interact respect- once again highlights the urgent need
being a more modest Muslim. In this kids and watching the programs they way” can mean a feeling fully with the opposite gender for universal civil registration of births,
day and age, everywhere we turn, it’s do will not only make you aware of deaths and causes of death,” she added.
almost impossible to avoid looking what they’re watching, but it will also of exclusion from a 8. Find and keep those role “These developments emphasize the
at something immodest. But if we make them aware that you are doing models importance of our work to improve
are conscious and ask Allah to help so. It’s important as well to make sure clique of friends; a Prophet Muhammad, peace and CRVS systems in the region.”
us, we can do better in this area de- to comment on what is immodest or regular “hello” from blessings be upon him, emphasized “The report shows that the Asia-
spite the challenge, thus setting the inappropriate in these programs so the role that friends play in affect- Pacific region is on the right path
example our kids need to stick to this kids know, for instance, that staring someone of the opposite ing a person’s faith. It’s no different to reach its goal of universal and re-
virtue as well. at a “hot” actor or actress or watching sex means more than for our tweens and teens. Find role sponsive CRVS systems,” said Kamni
them in a sexual scenario is wrong. models in your community who Naidu, Chair of the Regional Steering
2. Drop modesty double stan- just “hi”. Help your you feel maintain Islamic guidelines Group for CRVS in Asia and the Pa-
dards 4. Turn away from those things young Muslim find of modesty well and if they are the cific. “CRVS systems are much better
A Muslim mother I know re- you can’t avoid same age as your own kids, encour- positioned to respond to the crisis than
cently complained about how a Mus- You can turn off a television, or Halal outlets to keep age their friendship. Or, have this they would have been five years ago,”
lim girl had texted her teenage son power off a computer or cellphone, person start a Muslim youth group she added.
and he had texted her back. When but you can’t do either of those things busy - with the same so their positive influence can rub “With continued efforts, we will
she was asked why her son did not for a raunchy billboard. It seems that gender. That cuts down off on the group’s members. be able to achieve our intended goal
ignore the girl’s text or tell her to in some places, these types of adver- o f ensuring a legal identity for all
leave him alone, this mother’s re- tising are only increasing, whether it half the drama 9. Give them dress guidelines which will ensure that we realize
sponse was, “well, he’s a boy. What is ads for beer, beaches, or bars. In then set them free and facilitate the goals of the 2030 sus-
do you expect him to do? If a girl is these cases, make sure you set the When it comes to dressing ap- tainable development agenda.”
giving him attention, he’s going to example by looking away from the propriately, many Muslim youth feel The report outlined country prog-
respond.” unavoidable and saying softly, but 6. What would Muhammad they can never win. They are always ress towards establishing universal
I have no doubt if her daugh- loud enough for the kids to hear, do? picked on, they think, for wearing CRVS systems in line with commit-
ter had done the same to a boy, this “Astaghfirullah”. This is a question we must ask clothes that are too this or that. Start ments made during the first Ministe-
mother would have come down hard ourselves and teach our kids to ask trying a different tack. Give them rial Conference on CRVS in Asia and
on her. Modest behavior is a require- 5. Allah is always watching when faced with all kinds of situa- general guidelines and a reasonable the Pacific in 2014.
ment for both men and women in and we are accountable tions. Encourage kids to do the same budget to work with. For example, The Ministerial Declaration to
Islam (Qur’an 33:35) and it is wrong This is a key Islamic concept when it comes to modesty and other you can say, “here is $50. I want you “Get everyone in the picture” in Asia
to focus all of our attention solely on that we learn from childhood, but issues. Would the Prophet, peace be to use this and the $50 you got for and the Pacific defines the shared vi-
our daughters’ level of modesty in it needs to be reiterated as kids start upon him, be flirting by text with a Eid to buy yourself some new clothes sion that, by 2024, all people in the
dress and behavior while giving our becoming mature starting age 9 or classmate? How would he respond for fall. The only condition I have is region will benefit from universal and
sons free reign to do what they like, 10. Allah is watching everything, and if someone of the opposite sex asked that they be Islamically appropri- responsive CRVS systems that facili-
whether that is looking the other way He knows if we are surfing and see- him to “just hang out” alone or chat ate.” Then leave it at that. You may be tate the realization of their rights and
if we find out they have been flirting- ing something inappropriate online, online into the late hours of the pleasantly surprised at how well they support good governance, health and
by-text with a girl at school, looking texting with someone we should not, night? Would he stare at an attrac- choose, as well as their level of un- development.
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